When the Cat's Away...

Let's Dance!
Originally uploaded by the management.

...the mice will stuff themselves with Doritos and Miller High Life.

The Secretary of Spousal Affairs, the center of my world, as it were, is heading to the Catskills for three days of boozing, hard rock, and "meetings" at the Roadrunner Records company convention. Three days is pretty much the most I can handle without domestic support, but the management is nonetheless looking forward to a bacheloresque whirlwind of liquor, beer, three-hour living-room DJ sets, video games, horror movies, dirty underwear, televised sports (esp. college football and celebrity poker), Doritos, beer, liquor, and general squalor. The weekend kicks off early with the long-awaited Deva show at the Luna Lounge tonight. Friday remains a blank slate. Saturday is the do-or-die night for Misshapes. Sunday = recovery and possible playground hoops (AKA heart failure). Activity suggestions are much appreciated, as the having of plans will decrease my chances of spending the next three days in my underwear, playing video games and hiding from the daylight. Unless you want to come over... I've got some pants lying around somewhere and we can clear some additional space on the couch/floor.

A sad farewell to Rodney Dangerfield, by the way. "Rage, rage against the dying of the light!"

Finally, here's another installment from The Dirt: Mötley Crüe, Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band. Today, a highlight from Ozzy's Bark at the Moon tour:

"We rolled out of the bus under the heat of the noonday sun and went straight to the bar, which was seperated from the swimming pool deck by a glass window. Ozzy pulled off his pants and stuck a dollar bill in his ass crack, then walked into the bar, offering the dollar to each couple inside. When an elderly lady began to cuss him out, Ozzy grabbed her bag and took off running. He came back to the pool wearing nothing but a little day dress he had found in the bag... I handed him a straw and he walked over to a little crack in the sidewalk and bent over it. I saw a long column of ants... And as I thought, 'No, he wouldn't,' he did. He put the straw to his nose and, with his bare white ass peeking out from under the dress like a sliced honeydew, sent the entire line of ants tickling up his nose with a single, monstrous snort."